I made two decisions this week
I made a decision to do some new things for myself. After resigning from my job as a Wilton Method cake instructor I knew I was going to fill that void with something else. I did two this week that could have changed the trajectory of my life.
Neither situation went as planned. I decided to go back to school and I’ll share more about what I learned during that process in a future blog post. The second decision was to go back to the doctor that did my weight loss surgery almost ten years ago.
I walked in full of hope and excitement.
As I sat down in the oversized chairs in the waiting room I was elated to be back in the office of the man that changed my life years ago. I began having flashbacks to the day after my surgery when a tray if juices were brought in as my “meal.” Slightly I chuckled at the thought of how I was unable to drink those few ounces because I was now “full.”
As other patients walked in, wheezing, tired from the walk from the door to the chair, I remembered how that felt so many years ago. I remembered the pain in my ankles and knees I felt back then (and now). I remembered the swelling and the stares. I remember this office being a place of refuge. It was a sign of hope.
I remember passing all my tests with flying colors and the shrink writing in her report that I was a little too happy in my life. I remember getting the call that my surgery had been bumped up a week. I remembered when I had to write my will as a condition of the surgery. I remember letting my kids stay home from school in the case I didn’t make it off the operating table the day before I the gastric bypass. I clearly remember looking at my kids and saying “I will never let them get so big they can not enjoy their lives.”
“Mrs. Bryant” a petite woman called my name and brought me back to reality. I followed her down the hall and as she made me get on the scale and asked why I was there today, a wave of emotion overtook me. As the scale flashed a number 5 pounds less than my pre-surgery weight
I stated with confidence, “I’m here for the get back on track program.” I followed her down the hall to a room, equipped with larger than usual seating areas, stools, and a bed. She gave me two options. “Have a $20k revision (not covered by my insurance company) or do this the ‘old fashioned way!’”
The list of approved foods was three pages long. Great I thought, we have a starting point. The list of unapproved foods was about ¾ of a page and included 90 percent of the foods I eat. How exactly was this going to work? I thought I was going to see a nutrition specialist that would give clear examples of meal planning. Instead, I saw a tech that told me what I could no longer consume and to work out 5 days a week.
Honestly, I left there feeling a little defeated. This was not the place of refuge I was seeking. This was not the house that I felt safe in. I left more confused than I was when I walked in the door. To keep up on our family journey be sure to look at our Get Fit Journal.